Balance Isn't a Formula. It's a Practice.

What Pilates taught me about leading through December

Photo by Ahmet Kurt on Unsplash

December has a rhythm of its own.

It compresses the final stretch of the year into a single month that carries more expectations than any other.

This time of year always brings this unique mix of swirling demands. And right now, I know you are in the thick of it. The calendar fills with school concerts and family events. Corporate teams rush to wrap up Q4 projects, finalize performance reviews, attend holiday gatherings, and somehow plan for next year at the same time. There are meal plans to create, travel logistics to iron out, gift lists to manage (kids’ gifts… coworkers’ gifts… Secret Santa gifts… why is there always one more gift?), and the invisible emotional labor of holding all of it in your head.

December can feel like one long emotional load in a sparkly sweater.

And for years, this is the time I would recommit to “finding balance.”

As if December was a puzzle. Something I could tighten, optimize, solve.

The Engineering Problem

After I returned from my first maternity leave, I was determined to crack the code on work-life balance. I treated it like an engineering problem. Surely, if I planned well enough, worked hard enough, managed calendars tightly enough, I could:

• Excel at work

• March toward that next promotion

• Be the most present mom

• Run the household

• Stay connected with friends

• Handle family logistics

…and look effortlessly festive doing it.

I assumed all the women before me just hadn’t engineered it correctly. (I assumed both incorrectly AND, in retrospect, quite arrogantly.) There had to be a formula, a perfect equation, that would unlock the elusive state of “balanced.”

Spoiler: There isn’t.

Balance Isn’t Static. It’s Strength, Flexibility, and Practice

A couple of years ago, I added Pilates to my exercise routine, initially just to build strength and flexibility differently as I got older. I didn’t expect any big insights. I just wanted to feel better in my body.

But almost immediately, I started noticing parallels to how I think about leadership, balance, and life.

In Pilates, everything begins with your core.

Not for the sake of appearance, but because your core is the center point that supports everything else — your movement, your posture, your ability to stay steady under resistance.

And resistance always shows up.

In class, it’s the moment the springs get tighter.

In life, it’s the moment December arrives with thirty-seven competing priorities.

What I’ve realized over time is this:

You don’t “find” balance. You train for it.

Balance isn’t a formula. Balance is a practice.

It’s like building flexibility. Little by little, stretch by stretch, week by week. You don’t wake up one day and nail a perfect balance pose. You build capability over time.

Springs and Seasons

In Pilates, the more tension you add to the springs, the harder it becomes to keep your balance. Your body compensates. Your shoulders tense. Your breath shortens. Other muscles try to take over.

And suddenly the core disappears.

Life works the same way.

The springs get tight: A sick kid throws up at 3am. Your boss schedules an urgent meeting for 8am. You’re running on four hours of sleep, managing a critical Q4 deadline, and somehow you’re still supposed to remember that your daughter needs a white elephant gift for school tomorrow. And also, did you confirm the dinner reservation for the event you’re hosting? And respond to that text from your direct report who’s struggling? And figure out what you’re bringing to the holiday team potluck?

Of course we wobble.

Of course balance feels impossible.

It’s not because we’re failing.

It’s because the springs got tight.

This pattern shows up everywhere in my coaching practice. Senior women leaders come to me feeling like they’re failing at balance. And what we discover together is that they’re actually succeeding at chasing an impossible standard. The work isn’t finding the formula. It’s building the self-awareness to know when the springs are tight, the courage to name your core values, and the strategic thinking to decide what you’ll let go of. That’s not failure. That’s leadership.

What Actually Matters (Hint: It’s Not Doing More)

One of my favorite books on this topic is Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu. The premise is counterintuitive: the way to get more meaningful things done is by strategically doing less.

For a long time, I resisted this idea. Both at work and at home.

I love to bake. I have visions of beautifully homemade holiday treats. Pinterest-worthy holiday cookies. My famous cinnamon rolls that people actually request.

But I’ve learned something:

Store-bought cookies taste just as magical to kids at a class party.

And the hours I would spend planning, shopping, baking, decorating, and cleaning up?

That time has a cost.

• Sleep

• Presence

• Mental clarity

• Sanity

• Maybe even joy

So guess what? I’m bringing store-bought cookies.

Not beautifully decorated homemade treats. Not my famous cinnamon rolls.

Store-bought cookies from the grocery store bakery section.

Because “doing it all” doesn’t get me closer to balance.

Building a strong center, knowing what matters most, and what I can let go of, does.

How to Practice Balance This Season

No perfect system. No planner hack that will magically create more hours. Just three questions I return to when I feel myself wobbling:

1. What are my core values this month?

Not your usual values. Your values right now, in this season. Maybe it’s connection over perfection. Maybe it’s rest over productivity. Maybe it’s showing up, even imperfectly, over staying home because you can’t show up perfectly.

For me this December, it’s presence. Which means my phone stays in another room during family dinners. Which means I’m not checking email during my daughter’s events. Presence is my center.

2. What spring is adding tension right now?

Name it specifically. Not “everything feels hard.” What exactly is creating pressure?

Work deadlines? A particular professional or personal relationship? The expectation that you’ll host the perfect gathering? Financial stress? The invisible labor of managing everyone else’s schedule and emotional needs?

You can’t address tension you haven’t named.

3. What can I drop (guilt-free) to protect my center?

This is where strategy meets courage. What looks like “doing it all” but doesn’t actually serve your core values?

Store-bought cookies instead of homemade treats. Paper plates instead of the perfect tablescape. “Sorry, I can’t make that event” instead of overcommitting. Leftovers for the third night in a row instead of an elaborate meal plan.

Balance is built through these micro-decisions. Not once. Daily.

Your Turn

If you’re reading this and thinking “I think I know what I should drop, but I can’t seem to actually do it”, that’s the work.

That’s where coaching lives. Not in the knowing, but in the doing.

In my practice, I work with leaders who are ready to stop trying to engineer the impossible and start building the capabilities that actually matter: self-awareness, strategic prioritization, and the confidence to lead from their center, even when the springs get tight.

If you’re wrestling with what deserves your energy and what doesn’t as you progress in your career, let’s talk. I have limited availability opening up in Q1 2026 for 1:1 coaching (and team DiSC workshops!).

Center Yourself, Then Move

In Pilates, the moment you reconnect to your breath and tighten your core, you find your footing again. Even under tension. Even if you wobble a little.

That’s the practice.

And that’s all we’re doing this month:

• Centering

• Strengthening

• Flexing

• Letting go

• Choosing store-bought cookies

Not perfectly balanced.

Beautifully human.

I’ll be the one showing up with store-bought cookies and zero guilt. What are you dropping this December?

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I’m Tracy Stone, a leadership coach who helps leaders build the self-awareness, strategic thinking, and confidence to lead from their center - even when the springs get tight. If you’re ready to stop engineering the impossible and start building what actually matters, I’d love to support you.

Next week, I’ll be sharing some thoughts on the gifts we give ourselves - including investing in your own leadership development. (Spoiler: it’s not selfish, it’s strategic.)

Until then, may your December be filled with presence over perfection, store-bought cookies, and zero guilt. Keep carving your path.