Playing Offense

Stop Waiting for Permission

The whistle blew at my daughter’s soccer game. She got the ball.

And paused. Just for a second, but I could see it. She was processing instead of playing on instinct like she usually does.

She’d just switched positions. From a defender to a forward. On paper, it made sense. She had the speed, the skills, the coach’s confidence. But I could see it in her body language: she was still playing defense in her mind.

As a defender, she’d spent years reacting to plays, reading the other team’s moves, responding to threats. Now, as a forward, she needed to create the play. Drive it. Make something happen.

But her instincts kept pulling her back to what felt comfortable: wait, read, respond.

Gradually, it became more natural. The overthinking faded. She started playing on instinct again, but with a forward’s mindset. Creating plays instead of reacting to them. And then, she scored.

The skill was always there. The difference was mindset.

Using an offensive mindset in her game

And that shift, from reactive to proactive, from responding to driving, is the same one I see professionals struggling with every single day.

The Defensive Mindset at Work

In my coaching practice, I work with incredibly talented leaders who are stuck in reactive mode. And they don’t even realize it.

The director who’s brilliant at executing strategy but never proposes her own. The senior manager who waits to be told what the priorities should be instead of defining them. The VP who’s exceptional at solving problems handed to them but doesn’t identify the problems worth solving.

They’re all playing defense. And they’re frustrated because they know they’re capable of more.

One client, a talented senior manager at a tech company, came to me frustrated that she kept getting passed over for executive roles. When we dug into it, the pattern was clear: she was phenomenal at execution but invisible when it came to vision. Leadership valued her for delivering on their strategies, not for defining strategy herself.

She thought she was being a good team player. Responsive. Collaborative. Low-ego.

But really? She was giving away her power.

She wasn’t playing offense. And as long as she stayed in reactive mode, she’d stay exactly where she was.

Why We Default to Defense

Playing defense is comfortable.

When you’re responding to someone else’s strategy, you’re not as exposed. If it doesn’t work, well, you were just executing what was asked. The failure isn’t yours to own.

When you wait for direction before acting, you can’t be wrong about the direction. You’re following orders, doing what’s expected. It’s clearer. Safer. Less risky.

When you react to what’s in front of you rather than proactively defining what should be there, you don’t have to convince anyone of anything. You don’t have to defend your choices. You don’t have to stick your neck out.

I’ve navigated this shift myself. Multiple times, actually. Early in my career, I defaulted to reactive mode because it felt safer. Later, when returning to work after a career break, I fell back into it because I was trying to prove I could deliver. Each time, I had to consciously choose to shift from responsive to proactive.

The truth is, playing defense requires less courage. And when you’re overwhelmed, drowning in work, or lacking confidence, reactive mode feels easier.

But easier isn’t the same as growth.

The Mindset Shift

The difference between playing defense and playing offense isn’t about working harder or being more aggressive. It’s about shifting from reactive to proactive. From waiting to driving. From responding to defining.

Playing defense means:

• Solving the problem you’re given

• Executing against strategy handed to you

• Responding to requests

• Delivering on tasks assigned to you

• Supporting someone else’s vision

Playing offense means:

• Defining the problem worth solving

• Proposing the strategy

• Taking initiative before being asked

• Owning outcomes, not just tasks

• Articulating your own vision

Here’s the key: playing offense doesn’t mean ignoring what others need or steamrolling your team. It means being proactive within your role, whatever that role is.

If you’re an individual contributor, it’s identifying problems and proposing solutions rather than waiting to be told what to fix. If you’re a manager, it’s defining your team’s direction rather than waiting for it to be handed down. If you’re an executive, it’s shaping organizational strategy rather than just implementing it.

The shift happens when you stop waiting for permission to lead and start leading from wherever you are.

That senior manager I mentioned? Once she started bringing strategy proposals to her leader instead of waiting for direction, everything changed. She didn’t wait to be an executive to act like an executive. She started playing offense. Six months later, she got the promotion.

Not because she suddenly became more skilled. Because she changed how she showed up.

How to Make the Shift

In my house, we have a saying: “Be the boss!” We use it when someone’s being indecisive, defaulting to “I don’t know, what do you think?” about dinner choices, weekend plans, anything. It started as a family joke, but it stuck because it names something real: the tendency to give away your decision-making power because it’s easier. Less responsibility. Less risk of being wrong.

“Be the boss” means stop deferring. Stop waiting for someone else to decide. Step into your power, even when it’s uncomfortable.

It works at home with restaurant choices. And it absolutely works at work with strategy decisions.

If you’re recognizing yourself in reactive mode, here’s how to start playing offense:

Start with one proactive move. Don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Identify one area where you’ve been waiting for permission and take initiative. Propose a strategy. Define a problem. Take ownership of an outcome. See what happens.

Stop asking “what do you want me to focus on?” and start proposing “here’s what I think we should focus on.” It’s a subtle shift in language, but it changes the entire dynamic. You’re no longer waiting for marching orders. You’re bringing your judgment to the table.

Own the outcome, not just the task. When you take something on, be accountable for whether it moves the needle, not just whether you completed it. This is the difference between executors and leaders.

Create space for strategic thinking. If you’re stuck in reactive mode because you’re overwhelmed, something needs to change. What can you stop doing? What can you delegate? Where do you need to build capability so you have bandwidth to be proactive?

Give your team permission to play offense too. If you’re a leader, model this shift and empower your team to do the same. Stop micromanaging execution and start expecting them to bring strategy, identify problems, take initiative.

You don’t need a new title to play offense. You need a different mindset.

The payoff: celebrating with the team

The Real Game

My daughter has made the switch. She’s fully embraced playing offense, driving the ball up the field, creating plays instead of reacting to them. It’s become muscle memory now. She doesn’t think about it anymore. She just plays.

The same is true for your career.

You’ve already built the skills. You’ve proven you can execute. You’ve done the hard work of taking risks and pushing beyond your comfort zone.

Now stop waiting for permission to drive.

The ball is at your feet. What are you going to do with it?

---

I’m Tracy Stone, a leadership coach who helps professionals identify and break through their self-imposed limitations. If you’re ready to shift from playing defense to playing offense in your career, reach out.

Next week, we’ll talk about understanding yourself better—and why self-awareness is your competitive advantage in leadership. Until then, keep carving your path.