Your Superpower Is a Gift
You can’t give what you don’t claim
A little while back, I was driving to work, making that familiar shift from “home mode” to “work mode.” My mind was already filling with the day ahead – action items, big problems to solve, decisions waiting for me. The weight of the workday was kicking in, when I drove past a group of kids with their nanny/caregiver.
Out in front was a little boy, maybe four or five years old, wearing a full superhero costume – cape and all. Not Halloween. Not a costume party. Just a Tuesday morning, and he was fully committed. Cape trailing behind him, chest out, chin up, strutting like he had somewhere important to be and everyone should know it. Like the sidewalk was his runway and the rest of the world was lucky to witness it.
And I just... stopped. Mid-thought, mid-worry list, mid-everything. And I thought, man… if I could take some of his superhero energy, even just a fraction of it, into my day – I’d have a great day slaying all those big work problems.
That little kid had something most adults leave behind somewhere along the way: complete ownership of his superpower. The truth is, we rarely walk into work feeling superhero energy or even fully embracing our unique strengths or superpowers.
What would it look like to walk into work with even a fraction of that energy?
The Gap: We Can’t Name Our Own Strengths
In a recent women’s leadership group I was facilitating, we were doing an activity where each person shared something about themselves. When the questions were “who do you admire and why?” or “what is a mistake or learning?” the group could easily answer it and share examples. However, when the question was “what is your superpower?” each of the women paused and seemed to struggle to answer it. In almost every case, they finally answered it with the preface “something I’ve heard people say about me is…”. The answers sounded something like this:
“Something I’ve heard people say about me is that I’m good at connecting people.”
“I guess people say I bring calm to chaotic situations.”
“Someone once told me I’m really good at seeing the big picture.”
They all seemed unable to, or uncomfortable naming their superpower strengths.
The pattern was striking:
Easy to name people we admire.
Easy to name mistakes we’ve made.
But when it came to naming our own strengths, the room went quiet.
The theme of external permission: the “something I’ve heard people say about me” signals that we need external permission or validation to claim it.
If we can’t name our superpower, how can we use it? And if we can’t use it, how can we give it to others?
Why This Is Especially Hard for Women
This hesitation isn’t accidental. Many women have been quietly trained not to claim their strengths directly.
Some of it is modesty. We’re socialized from a young age to deflect praise rather than receive it. Someone tells us we did something well and our instinct is to redirect: “oh, it was a team effort” or “I just got lucky with the timing.” We’ve been taught that claiming credit is unseemly, so we hand it away before we’ve even held it.
Then there’s imposter syndrome – that quiet voice that whispers “I’m not sure this really counts as a strength.” Even when the evidence is right in front of us. Even when others have named it for us repeatedly. We find a way to explain it away: I just got lucky. Anyone could do that. It’s not that big a deal.
And layered on top of that is the fear of being seen as arrogant. I’ve coached women who can rattle off their gaps and growth areas without missing a beat – but go completely quiet when asked what they’re genuinely great at. Not because they don’t know. But because claiming it out loud feels like too much.
Over time, this conditioning creates a strange paradox:
We work incredibly hard to develop our strengths…
but feel uncomfortable naming them.
You Can’t Give What You Don’t Claim
And that discomfort has a consequence. You can’t give away what you haven’t fully claimed.
This year’s IWD theme is “Give to Gain”. And in our hearts, most of us genuinely want to give. But how do you give your best when you haven’t named what your best actually is?
When you don’t know your superpower, you operate on default.
You respond to what’s needed. You fill gaps. You help where you can.
But that’s not the same as intentionally bringing your best strength into the room.
Your superpower isn’t just a personal asset.
It’s what you have to offer your team, your peers, and the women coming up behind you.
Naming it isn’t ego.
It’s stewardship.
How to Find and Name Your Superpower
If you’re not sure what your superpower is, here are a few places to start looking:
The compliment pattern: What do people repeatedly thank you for or come to you for?
This reframes the “something I’ve heard” instinct as a data source, not a crutch.
The effortless excellence clue: What do you do that feels easy to you but seems hard for others?
The energy test: What tasks leave you energized rather than drained?
Ask directly: A script: reach out to 2–3 people and ask “When have you seen me at my best?”
Strengths Assessment: Complete a strengths assessment like DiSC or Strengths Finder with a leadership coach.
Owning Your Superhero Cape
That little boy I saw didn’t question whether he deserved the cape.
He didn’t wait for permission.
He didn’t ask if others agreed with his superhero status.
He just wore it.
Maybe leadership requires a little more of that energy.
Not arrogance.
Not ego.
Just the willingness to claim the strength you bring. And offer it freely to the people around you.
Your Turn
It’s genuinely hard to name your superpower publicly. I know. I’m with you on this. So I’ll go first.
Mine? I bring steadiness. In rooms where everything feels urgent and chaotic, I’m the person who slows down, listens, and helps others find clarity. It took me a long time to claim that — it didn’t feel flashy enough to matter. But I’ve watched it change the energy in a room more times than I can count.
Now it’s your turn.
What is your superpower? Not the thing you think you should say, but the strength people consistently experience from you. Share it in the comments.
And if you’re still not sure, that’s a worthy place to start. Sometimes we need a thinking partner to help us see what we can’t see in ourselves. To work through the compliment patterns, the energy clues, the effortless excellence you’ve been quietly dismissing. That’s what coaching is for.
This year’s IWD theme is “Give to Gain”, and I’m taking that seriously. I’ve set aside a few complimentary Carve Your Path coaching sessions this month to give back to this community, and a handful of spots are still open.
If you’re ready to name what you bring, I’d love to be in that conversation with you.
Claim it. Then give it.
Keep carving your path,
Another great one! You are an excellent writer and coach!